


Sunflowers and Wax Wings

by Yass_Rani



Series: The Sunflower Stories [1]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: ANGSTY poem/song inspired, F/F, I wrote the song a couple months ago and found it when i looked through my old notes, Kusum is sunflower, Kusum x rajni, and i decided to make it a thing, bc it seemed so fitting, for sunflower, ik its the shipname but idk this felt right
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25398217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Yass_Rani/pseuds/Yass_Rani
Summary: Rajni’s love for Kusum is like the sun and wings of wax. Rajni knows it’s forbidden, that it’d burn her, but how does she tell her foolish heart that, when all it does is fly towards the sun with its wax wings? How could she tell her heart that when she doesn’t know herself that it’s a sunflower, not the sun itself?
Relationships: Kusum/Goggle Tripathi
Series: The Sunflower Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889848
Comments: 3
Kudos: 11





	Sunflowers and Wax Wings

**She strolls out each day,  
takes a deep breath,  
fills her lungs with the morning air  
like her heart full of love.  
listens to whatever morbid melody caught her heart that day  
fingers drumming against her thigh,  
teeth tugging at her lip as she holds her humming in. **

Every day for a few years now, Rajni would look out of her window on the top floor, watching as her neighbour strolled out of her door, stopping on the doorstep to close her eyes and take a deep breath of the early morning air. Kusum listened to the sounds of the Ganga crashing to the riverbanks before she put in her earphones and listened to whatever new song had caught her interest lately.

Rajni watched as she smiled softly at the lyrics in her head, sitting on a ledge overlooking the river while she swayed to the music, her fingers drumming on her thigh in a soft beat, an effort to hold her humming in even though she bit her lip to quiet down, intent on not disturbing the quiet morning in any way.

Each day for years, Rajni would look out of her window and smile at the girl, wanting desperately to join and being interrupted by someone every time she’d pick up the courage to stroll down and sit beside her and share her love of Allahabad’s mornings.

  
  
**She's a wonder, god, her eyes shine  
like flames to a moth, she drags me in,  
but oh, be still my foolish heart,  
don't make me him, don't turn me into Icarus**

The first time they met, Kusum had smiled when her family had walked into Rajni’s house. The Tripathis welcomed their new neighbours and the children got along very well. While her cousin, Aman hid away in a corner of the house, away from all the hubbub of visitors, Rajni seemed to be frozen to the ground as she stared at the little girl in front of her, smiling so bright it put the sunlight to shame.

Rajni had figured out quite quickly that she wasn’t as shy as she looked – Kusum was a mischeivous girl who had a glint in her eyes every time Rajni suggested breaking rules, like she knew she wasn’t supposed to do it but the high heavens couldn’t stop her now. It was like a fire, the glint, and Rajni was undeniably dragged into the depths of her honey brown eyes, widened as Kusum went on a giggly rant about what they could do and get away with.

She knew full well she was going into something she could never come back from – and she took it. She took the chance and now, she couldn’t decide if that was her best decision or her worst.

  
  
**And when the sky pours,  
the same kind of music haunts her bedroom, **

**she stares out to the sky  
she wills the clouds to roar.  
There's sweet music playing in the dark,  
I lay on her lap and doze.  
She scribbles on her paper, I gaze at her,  
She turns to me awake, and asks is everythin' alright.**  
  


They grew up together. They were close and inseparable – if one of their parents didn’t know where they were, they’d just check the other’s house and find them huddled up, giggling and chatting and playing into late hours of the night. They fought, too. They fought and got back together, they stood through thick and thin and went through the years closer than ever.

Kusum loved the rain, and Rajni knew. They had a routine, every time it rained, they would sneak into Kusum’s bedroom, play Md. Rafi’s music and quietly gaze out the window. Through the years, they pursued their hobbies – the first time it happened, Kusum was dancing across the room as thunder boomed outside. A few months later, Rajni would sing as Kusum played the guitar. One time, they watched a horror movie, clinging on to each other for dear life, and the next, they painted until the storm ended and they were covered in flecks of paint.

Kusum had recently gotten into writing poetry, and recently, these sessions were turning into her simply scribbling on a paper as Rajni dozed on her lap. Sweet music would play in the dark and she would hum along, the sound of pencil on paper often waking Rajni up, causing her to turn to the woman in her lap and whisper, “Is everything alright?”

Rajni would replay those moments, soft and sweet, every night as she fell asleep. She’d smile into the dark, and wish for something. She didn’t know what, she wishes she did, she wishes it would happen, and each day seems like she’s closer, yet further away.

**She's a wonder, god, her eyes shine  
like flames to a moth, she drags me in,  
but oh, be still my foolish heart,  
don't make me him, don't turn me into Icarus**  
  


Rajni would wear her goggles so much she’d earned herself a nickname, but the only time she wouldn’t wear them while someone was around was if that someone was Kusum. She’d went through Rajni’s breakup with her boyfriend and her glass eye issues, and Rajni had stayed with her throughout her teenage identity issues and her parents’ issues – and grew closer every single day. The Tripathis had always been like family to Kusum and time and again, they’d find the two girls together no matter what.

Except Rajni was struck. She found herself waiting for Kusum to show up each day, she waited outside their school, in college and she occasionally went to pick her up at her job some days. She found her heart beating out of her chest every single time there was a festival and Kusum would rush out of her house, clad in her shiny salwar kameez and her hair flying behind her, the dazzling smile she wore always on her face.

Rajni realised she was in love. She realised she was so deep in love she might as well have drowned in the Ganga.

  
**Don't make me run,  
don't make me fly  
it's tempting, I know  
it's pulling me  
but oh, be still my foolish heart  
don't make me him, don't turn me into Icarus  
don't burn my wings.**

She knew it was forbidden. Every time she saw Kusum run towards her, she felt her heart soar into the high heavens, but she kept telling her heart to stay still, to stop flying – because Rajni’s wax set of wings was her heart and Kusum was the brightest sun.

Rajni knew that the higher her heart flew, the faster she’d burn because Kusum was her sun and there was no way she could ever love her back. She knew her heart would be broken, her wings would melt and she would plummet down in a burning mess of tears and hurt. She couldn’t do that to herself, not when she knew she could never love the girl next door. Not when she knew Aman would have to marry her. Not when she knew Aman wouldn’t love her either.

What she didn’t know was, however, that Kusum wasn’t the sun. She was the sunflower that thrived on the banks of Ganga, blooming each morning to lovely music. She was the sunflower that swayed towards her sunlight, the sunflower that turned to the rays of light that Rajni’s goggles would reflect.

She was just as much as in love with Rajni as Rajni loved her, but she didn’t know.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it! Please like and leave comments, I appreciate everything! You can message me or send an ask to be tagged or send in a prompt. Main masterlist and request list are linked in bio on my Tumblr: yass-rani


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